Andrea Askowitz es lesbiana y, en su momento, fue madre soltera. Aunque actualmente está casada, hace 8 años, cuando decidió quedarse embarazada, no lo estaba. Quería ser madre y se lanzó a la aventura a pesar de no tener pareja. Actualmente tiene una hija de ocho años y un hijo de cuatro.
Andrea nos relata su experiencia en su libro My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy (algo así como “Desgraciada, sola, lesbiana y embarazada”), que no ha sido traducido al español aunque os lo recomiendo sinceramente. Hoy la entrevistamos en MíraLES.
MíraLES: Leí tu libro como si fuera la historia real de tu embarazo como lesbiana, sola y desgraciada y ha sido muy interesante y divertido pero, ¿es absolutamente cierta?
Andrea: My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy es mi historia real. Es muy triste si lo piensas. Estaba depre y el embarazo no fue lo que esperaba. Pero sé que también es gracioso porque a la gente le gusta reírse del sufrimiento de otros, lo sé.
M: Si pudieras dar marcha atrás, ¿cambiarías algo relativo al proceso de tu embarazo?
A: Me habría gustado conocer a mi mujer antes. Habría estado bien tener una pareja que me mimara. Habría estado deprimida igualmente, porque sé que la depresión no depende de las circunstancias. La mía era fisiológica, y habría aparecido aunque no hubiera estado sola. Seguramente habría odiado a mi mujer durante los nueve meses, pero lo habríamos superado y habría sabido que no estaba sola.
M: ¿Cómo llevas la maternidad hasta ahora?
A: Es mucho mejor ser madre que estar embarazada. Aunque, te digo, el tercer curso es un infierno.
M: Todo lo que describes en el libro es muy real, sobre todo el momento del parto. Es la primera vez que de verdad comprendo lo duro que debe de ser el embarazo. Por suerte, el momento en que te coges a tu bebé por primera vez es igual de intenso, ¡y muy tierno! Recordando todo eso, ¿te gustaría tener más hijos?
A: Nunca he querido tener más hijos físicamente. Al contrario que la mayoría de las mujeres, que olvidan la locura de las hormonas y los puntos de sutura en la vagina, yo sí me acuerdo. Pero quería tener otro hijo. Así que me eché una mujer para tener el siguiente. Victoria tenía 39 años cuando nos conocimos hace seis y estaba intentando tener un bebé por su cuenta. Le dije que tenía esperma y le propuse que si lo pensábamos podíamos hacerlo como pareja. Quería dejarla embarazada. Yo había comprado en el banco de esperma diez viales y sólo había usado dos, así que tenía de sobra. Al principio pensó que estaba loca, pero después de un tiempo se enamoró de mí tanto como yo de ella y ahora tenemos un niño de cuatro años que se llama Sebastian.
M: En el libro cuentas con bastante detalle en qué consistió y cómo fue tu proceso de inseminación pero, ¿cómo fue el de Victoria, tu mujer? ¿Tuvisteis algún problema?
A: Cuando llamé al médico para pedir cita para el tratamiento de fertilidad de Victoria, la recepcionista me dijo que no hacían inseminaciones a parejas del mismo sexo. Esta ha sido la peor discriminación que jamás he sentido. Resulta que las leyes de Florida permiten a los médicos negarse a atender a lesbianas si pueden recomendarles otro médico que no les niegue la atención. Florida es una mierda retrógrada pero al final dimos con el especialista en fertilidad más profesional y gay-friendly del mundo.
M: ¿Qué les recomendarías a nuestras lectoras para ser madres y dar a luz?
A: Yo les digo a todas las mujeres de treinta, treinta y algo que si quieren tener un hijo, que lo tengan. Adelante, hacedlo, quedaos embarazadas. Es duro pero merece la pena. El amor ya llegará. Yo sé que es posible hacerlo. Tener un bebé es mejor que un perrito. Y además, los bebés son imanes muy chulis.
Afuuuuuuuffff… no me meto yo en el berenjenal de tener un bebe yo sola ni jarta farlopa. Yo he criado a un pitufo, y a pesar de ser dos, de no escaquearnos ninguna de nuestras obligaciones y de que mi gurruño era casi perfecto (comía como un león, dormía como una marmota, era y es el niño más dulce y tranquilito del mundo y en 15 años no ha tenido ni un triste catarro) acabamos las dos casi derrotadas por el cansancio físico y mental. Por no hablar del dineral que te vas a gastar en pañales, papillas, guarderías, ortodoncias, ropa, libros de texto y demás zarandajas (a ver que solitario sueldo aguanta eso). Yo personalmente, no repito experiencia, y encima en solitario, ni de coña :S
¡Fantástico! Soy madre de dos y un tercero abordo, ¿La locura? ¡Sí! Quién no vive del amor haciendo locuras por amor, respetable pero no comprendo a alguien sin pasión y exceso de locura, que al final se traduce solo en amor. Es maravilloso escuchar que cada vez somos más mamás homosexuales teniendo hijos, formando familia homoparental. Agradezco a Dios que me permita serlo y sobre todo agradezco cada segundo la mujer inteligentísima, audaz, exitosa, guapísima y amorosa que me puso a lado.
Un placer leerlas desde México, no sabía de su existencia y definitivamente me quedo, abrazo grande a todas las que hacemos posible que las mujeres homosexuales cada vez sean más libres y más plenas.
[…] (My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy) tiene 45 años, nació en Miami, Florida (Estados Unidos) es lesbiana y judía. Actualmente está […]
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